Counseling
and Caring:
Reflections On India
Reflections On India
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Counseling
and Caring:
Reflections On India |
From the moment our plane touched down in Calcutta until we arrived back in the United States, I was confronted with people, problems, and possibilities that presented a challenge that was both inspirational and heart-wrenching. In order to reach the goals I and members of the group had set, we literally had to work our way through situations that were uncomfortable and different from anything we had ever experienced. After Calcutta I cannot be, nor would I want to be, the same person who left the United States. While my words can convey some flavor of the journey, much must remain unwritten because of the limitations of language. What I describe here are aspects of what happened that relate to counseling and my growth as a person and a counselor.
The first thing I had to do upon arrival was become acculturated. As in counseling, that was easier said than done. Calcutta is a city of about 17 million people. There are crowds of people everywhere with a multitude of languages and different traditions. The streets are beehives of activities and some people even live on the streets. Customs, beliefs, and histories link and divide everyone. Only a multitude of adjectives, some of them contradictory, can describe the people of Calcutta.
Yet, my focus was not to just understand and acclimate. Rather, it was to be a servant within the culture. Initially, our group was assigned to work at Naba Jiban, a home for orphaned boys. Our day started at 5 a.m.. Amid the first light of morning, we walked to the Mother House where we worshipped, ate a light breakfast, and then took a crowded bus across town to our destination.
The boys of Naba Jiban were mostly preadolescents. Almost all were physically or mentally challenged. Some needed help in walking. Many needed assistance in being fed. Others could not keep the flies off of their legs or heads. In addition, their clothes needed washing and their beds and rooms needed cleaning. One of my daily jobs was rinsing out the boys’ clothes with cold well water. In this task I paid particular attention to scrubbing away the dried feces and remnants of food that stuck to the fibers. The point is that our assignments were menial but necessary. They required hard work but we did them with joy because we felt a sense of mission. In between jobs, we played with the children. There was an emphasis on care and concern for others in Mother Teresa’s homes that was pervasive.
In addition to Naba Jiban, our group was assigned to work at Prem Dan, a home for 350 men and women who are physically and mentally disabled, and Kalighat, a 50 bed home for dying destitute. It was at the latter facility that I literally became physically sick. I felt fortunate only to be nauseated and I found myself being attended to lovingly in a way that gave me both peace and comfort. I wondered if the clients we were serving had similar feelings.
So what did I learn and how has it affected me? Some of the answers to this question I do not expect to know for some time. Yet, I am aware of some initial thoughts.
First, I realized anew that poverty and disease destroy lives in ways that are degrading. Care and prevention must be personalized if individuals and groups are going to truly change for the better. The giving of information and working from an impersonal perspective, although well intended, are not enough to make significant differences for most people.
Second, I became sensitized anew to the reality that giving and receiving are reciprocal. Helping is a two way street. Because of my work wounds were bandaged, bodies were cleaned, and the disabled and abandoned were fed. Those who received my assistance gave back to me a smile, a nod, and simple words of thanks that are now indelibly etched in my mind. It did my heart good to work in such ways.
Third, I gained a greater appreciation for the work of Abraham Maslow and the hierarchy of needs on which he elaborated. My awareness of ministering to the whole person was enhanced. I understood again the importance of people helping people even in mundane and simple ways. Attending to the unique needs of others in an inhumane environment is enriching, transforming, and necessary for the common good.
Finally, I became even more convinced of the importance of the spiritual nature of helping. Counseling operates on multiple levels and one of those levels involves realizing that beyond humanity is a divinity that unites us all regardless of our apparent differences.
I greeted my wife and three young children upon returning on January 14th 1996. My mind danced with delight during the celebration. Yet, simultaneously I felt sad. I realized there were still great needs in India. However, because of the trip I knew that to find and address the conditions I saw in Calcutta, I need not travel around the world again. Being international and caring begins in one’s neighborhood with a commitment to reach out beyond oneself. It is something we all can do.
