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One of the reasons I was so thrilled to have been accepted to the counseling program at Wake Forest was because it was the only program I had learned about that took its students abroad to study some of the most well-respected theorists in the field of modern therapy. I knew that this trip would be exciting and worthwhile, but I don’t think I could have ever predicted how much it would change me as an individual and as a future counselor.
My most powerful learning experience regarding values occurred during the time we spent with Victor Frankl’s widow and grandson. I learned that although any and every material possession can be taken away from a human being, he or she can still find meaning in his or her life. I was shocked to discover how much I relied on the material possessions, titles, and privileges I have in my life to define who I am as an individual and someone worthy of others’ respect and admiration.
My value system changed as I interacted with the Frankl family and learned about logotherapy, and I found myself putting less importance on concerns that had once been critical issues in my life. This lesson was a freeing one for me, and as I write this reflection I realize that I am still processing it.
I became much more interested in discovering the beauty that surrounded me in the form of art, monuments, music, food, language, natural wonders, and diverse people than in adorning myself with pretty things. Because I now judge myself much less critically and put less importance on my appearance, I feel more open to witnessing and appreciating the truly beautiful natures within others. As a counselor, I believe that this change will benefit me in that I will have fewer barriers impeding me from building rapport with clients.
Before Vienna, I had a fairly good grounding in psychoanalytic concepts, but I never really had a sense of Freud’s way with people and clients. Fortunately, I gained some insights through the letter that Lauren, Yasmine, and Meleah shared in their presentation. Adding to this was my favorite exhibit at the Freud museum: the video of Sigmund, Anna, other family and friends, and their dogs. I was entranced watching Freud fuss over flowers in his garden and react so genially to family members tending to his health needs. It is all too easy to forget that Freud too could have had therapist je ne sais quoi—and from what I could tell, he possessed many attributes that would promote a therapeutic alliance.
I made another exciting discovery when Katie Lee and Kevin brought to life the transcript of an actual Adlerian therapy session. I would never have guessed that an Adlerian approach could be so attuned to the here-and-now. From the script, it was apparent that developing a therapeutic relationship through attention to language, subtext, and emotional manipulations could grow social interest in an individual who is interpersonally stuck. The only gripe I had was the scripted therapist’s heavy reliance on questions; clearly, Adler was progressive, but Carl Rogers he was not!
It was also wonderful to meet with the psychologist from the Adlerian institute. I was awestruck that this psychologist regularly does couch work with private clients lasting for upwards of 5 years. Her firm stance on the importance of long-term therapy helped me to recognize the value I place on charting depths within myself—and how I do think there are those clients who must reconnect with their pasts to gain or regain mental health.
Today I walked in the Mauthausen of my own free will. And when I was ready, I walked out again. But I definitely left a different person.
I've been to the Holocaust museum in Washington, DC, and that is intense. But I realized how easily we can remove ourselves from things like the artificiality of a museum. I couldn't remove myself today. As I walked through the gas chamber, the chamber where they stored all the bodies, and finally the crematorium, I was easily and quickly broken. It was overwhelming most times, and I could barely stand on my own two feet at times.
They told one story of how they made about 10 Jewish prisoners march down to the edge of the quarry cliff and then each person had to push the one in front of them off the cliff. I went down to the base of the quarry where I saw first hand these cliffs. I just can't imagine.
To get down to the base of the quarry there were almost 200 uneven, rickety stone stairs. Again, I knew at any point I could choose to go get in the shade or stop and have a drink of my water, but they couldn't have. It was not within their power to do anything but choose to live or choose to die. And each of those choices had infinite ramifications.
As I approached the main camp once again I found myself relieved. Then I realized that I could just walk down to the cafe and get a cold drink and sit and relax out of the sun. I also thought about the fact that we would be eating soon. But then it hit me again, it's not like when they came back from the quarry it was rest and relaxation—no, it was just more of the same.
My advice is, go see a concentration camp. While you may cry the whole way through it (like I did), it is well worth it to ensure we know what happened, we are appalled by the outcome, and we vow to never let it happen again.
Today we had two presentations in the morning, one on Frankl and the other on Moreno and Psychodrama. I really identified with the presentation on Frankl. I have been trying for a long time to determine how to find peace and contentment in my own life. I have tried so many things to better myself and to create opportunities for myself to grow. Frankl proposes that humans are at their best when they are not focused on the self. This realization hit me hard. As much as I like to help others, I never considered it as a way to my own betterment. Many times I feel it is more of a duty and things like taking yoga classes, attending church, and writing in journals are for my own growth and happiness. Perhaps if I am more willing to step outside my own self-concern and live for experience and the external I can be my best.
That afternoon, we ate lunch in and went to Karlskirche. Karlskirche is a beautiful cathedral in Vienna. We climbed the scaffolding to the top where we all nearly got vertigo, but I have some beautiful pictures of the frescoes done on the ceiling. It was one of those moments that I was profoundly fearful, but I gained far too much from the experience not to do it. From there we went to St. Stephens once again and we were able this time to tour the catacombs. We saw mass graves where victims of the black plague had been buried. It was surreal to see stacked bones and skulls that were hundreds of years old. Tonight we are having a group dinner cooked by Kevin and George and others in the house. I can’t wait to eat - we have some talented chefs in our group! Our time is drawing to a close and I can’t help but feel a little sad.