Department of Counseling

The Magic of Vienna
By Metoka Welch

Vienna was and is to me an experience that I will cherish forever. I saw many of my classmates in a new light. I saw myself change, and I discovered that 15 people can live together under one roof and maintain more than a modicum of civility and cohesiveness. Vienna shocked me in that it surpassed my wildest dreams, in both an individual and a collective sense. Here are some highlights of my experience.

Mauthausen:

When we turned the corner and proceeded up the long hill toward Mauthausen all I could feel was doom. It was like arriving at a living cemetery. At the same time, I was ironically aware that we were going up a hill. Typically in mythology or in literature, even in the bible, ascents denote man’s journey into the heavens, a place where mortal flesh encounters immortality. Ascents in literature tend to be positive experiences; and yet, here we were on this upward journey into hell.

Watching the video was so tough. I wanted so badly to wail loudly and throw myself across my bench. I will never forget the end of that video when that “grown man” was crying about how awful everyone looked, how decades later, it was still seared in his brain. Before we toured the concentration camp, watching the video made it more real. If there were any attempt at all in my head to try to experience this as a museum, it was abolished. This was hallowed, sacred ground. And many, many people had died for an unjust cause. Watching that movie, I was reminded of a quote by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.: “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”  I wanted to mourn for those who had been lost in that place (Mauthausen); I wanted to wail also because I was aware that the main people who needed to be watching that movie, who needed to be visiting concentration camps, would never visit one. I lamented because those in positions of power and influence would never experience humanity at its basest form, nor would they have in their breasts conceived what was borne in mine as I watched that video and toured those grounds: the need to educate and ensure that it never happens again.

Just being in that space, and walking the paths that so many sacrificial lambs walked was overwhelming. It was humbling, and it was life changing. I almost fainted when we walked into the room with the crematorium. I remember it being spelled with a ‘k’. There, before me, stood the symbol of death. There before me. It was too much. I was doubly overcome by the senselessness of it all and the weird efficiency of the Nazi movement, how lives were reduced to ashes, ashes scattered into the wind, and wind into the air. We were breathing someone’s hopes and dreams, some child’s fears and wishes, some mother’s last prayer…

Elly Frankl and the Victor Frankl Institute:

I have also locked the experience of meeting and embracing Elly Frankl deep inside of my heart. It was and is something I will never forget. Walking into the home, I was at once struck by how nothing seemed to have changed. It was like walking into my grandmother’s house, a familiar place of unchanged and meaningful furniture. I was then overcome with this realization: this is where Victor Frankl lived, slept, worked, and loved. It was so real that it was almost surreal. Going into his bedroom and into his study, I felt gratitude and honor. I was very impressed and grateful that Wake Forest had this sort of relationship established.

And, a highlight of my whole trip was when we were in the bedroom. When Elly Frankl was talking about her honorary doctorate and she talked about how her beloved husband had simply yet significantly kissed her on the forehead as a sign of pride and devotion. She demonstrated that action on me, and I could not have felt more honored. It took everything in me not to cry. The more I write this paper, the more I realize how I fall into the social stigma that crying is a sign of weakness. But, at that moment, I was aware that I was part of a demonstration and that people were watching me. I did not want to appear to be overly sappy, so I blinked really hard while my heart burst open. It was one of the most wonderful moments of my life. Inwardly, I made the vow that I would look for that in a mate: companionship, gratitude, loyalty and dedication, not just passion and sex. I will cherish that moment forever.

Understanding the introversion of our class and also connecting my feelings of honor and gratitude with being with Elly, I knew that, even though we weren’t talking, we were feeling. And I so wanted to tell Elly that we were honored to be in her home, in her presence. I was given the opportunity to do this when she said, “You all look so skeptical.” I know we are a quiet bunch and this can be disconcerting, especially coming after the class from last year that was much more loquacious and colloquial. I was also “struggling with the spotlight” because I had been a part of her demonstration but I wanted so desperately to let her know how grateful we were to be with her. So I said to Elly, as privately as I could, “we may seem skeptical, but we are really honored.”

I will never forget the look of love and gratitude in her eyes after I spoke that. Never. It was worth the work it took to get me to Vienna: the uncertainties I went through in my head in going to Vienna and even the lack of support of significant people in my life about going. It was worth everything to have been in that moment, in that space, and to have spoken authentically from my heart. I felt blessed. My heart opened up. The title of that Iyanla Vanzant book, One Day my Soul Opened Up, came to my mind: my soul opened up and that moment crept in to stay forever. Elly stood beside me and grabbed my arm for the group picture. I will never forget that. And, I will advocate for others to go to Vienna if only to stand in the foyer of a historical and moral giant. I appreciate that moment forever.

Conclusion:

So, Vienna became one of the best experiences of my life and I am so grateful to have gone. The closest quote I can come to describing the experience comes from Thomas Wolfe when he described UNC-Chapel Hill. Not to put in a subliminal plug about my alma mater, but I think this is the best way to describe everything that I felt, shared, saw and experienced: “So far from forgetting the blessed place, I think my picture of it grows clearer every year: it was as close to magic as I've ever been . . .” Indeed, to me, that is Vienna.

Participants: Vienna, Summer 2006

Erin Binkley, Karver Bolton, Elizabeth Hodges, Melissa Kline, Anna Levy, Heather McGee, Christine McLamb, Betsy McLeod, Hiroshi Mori, Mike Nuckolls, Jenny Orr, Kimberly Regennas, Jake Regennas, Jessica Rosenfeld, Metoka Welch, Melissa Williams, Dr. Laura Veach and Becki Fulton.

Links to other articles related to the 2006 Vienna trip (PDF format)

A Look at Logotherapy by Betsy McLeod
What I Remember by Anna Levy